I met someone. He does things to my body I never imagined possible. Ok ok, so it's not a man it's a beauty product but by all accounts, aren't beauty products sometimes more satisfying? The product is Poutrageous by Bliss. It's a lip plumper. I've dabbled in lip plumpers for several years, knowing that there is a distinct possibility that my upper lip will one day completely disappear. All of the women on my Italian side of the family turn into Muppets after the age of 40, or at least their upper lip disappears completely in a way that only a Muppet can relate to.
See: no Muppet has an upper lip, just a dead flat end at the end of the skin their below their nose. It's called Muppet mouth and while it's cute and endearing on a Muppet, it is neither of those things on a 40 year old woman, or even in my case a 26 year old woman. But in all of my experimenting I have never found a lip plumper that worked. Until, last night when, once again, my theory was reaffirmed that most answers can be found at Bliss. I was browsing the Bliss section of Sephora at Southpoint mall last night after work and stumbled upon a pink box labeled Poutrageous, priced at $22. Having used Spiff Upper Lip (yes, my first tube is still going) I know that their product names are not exaggerations but rather accurate reflections of the often immediate results they summon from the targeted feature. I didn't even sample the product in store. Sure enough as soon as I tried the first application from my adorable new tube of product...instant tingles. In fact it was almost painful as if the product itself induced a mild bee sting and the subsequent swelling. And unlike some plumpers you can apply it as often as you like. Poutrageous goes on clear but causes reddening of the lips almost as immediately as it causes swelling. Now I don't know if using Poutrageous will prevent me from developing Muppet mouth but I do know that when I use it any inkling that I may have the Muppet mouth gene disappears. For $22 that's good enough for me.