Two years ago I thought I had faced everything womanhood could throw at me: random black hairs on my face, nostril hair, stretch marks, weight gain. First of all, Why did no one warn me? Second of all, aren't the aforementioned vanity-crushing manifestations of womanhood enough? But no, mother nature had other plans. The vanity killer of all vanity killers slowly but surely started to take shape on my face. The darkening of my upper lip. No it wasn't a mustache. It was just "hormonally induced hyper-pigmentation". I tried chemical peels, cover-up, and pretending to believe my girlfriends when they kindly lied and said "We really can't see anything." Liars. So for two years I toyed with the idea of skin bleaching, truly not knowing what else to do but grin (darkly) and bear it. Oh yes, and live in constant fear that some well-meaning man would kindly say "I think you have something smeared on you upper lip." I had no idea that the whole embarrassing situation could be cured in two weeks time. Bliss, in their infinite wisdom had the answer all along in the form of their product, Spiff Upper Lip. I ordered it online and within days an adorable Tiffany-blue sack arrived at my door, complete with free samples of "Love-Handler", "Lemon-sage body butter", and "Fat girl slim". It was better than Christmas - a tube of white cream that promised to remove my hormonally painted on mustache along with creams that promised to shrink my belly and love handles. The best part? With nightly application, my upper lip began to return to normal with in three days. Two-weeks later even my hawk eyes could no longer spot it in pictures.
Now it's mostly gone - I certainly don't fear anyone pointing it out to me -although I can still see enough of it's remnants to remind me how grateful I am for Bliss and their products. I also have to mention, their design is impeccable. Instead of wasting product with finger application, Spiff Upper Lip is dispensed through a soft brush which tops off the little white tube. The product remains visible for about ten minutes and then stays on clear, working it's magic the whole night through. Also for those of you who have suffered a full on frontal assault by mother nature on your upper lip, this products magic comes in four parts, addressing "vertical lip lines, man-worthy moustache hair, that sinister shadowy below-the-nose pigmentation and the slow, subtle, awful loss of collagen that leaves your previously pouty lips limping along" Bliss, thank you.